The problem with making lemon curd in my house is that it doesn’t last two minutes. Yesterday’s batch made two bottles and a little tasting bowl which was tasted whilst hot, warm, cooling and cold. The remnants were popped into the fridge where they languished for all of ..oh, ten minutes before they too disappeared. I know this because half way through posting my blog I stopped for a little cup of coffee and some inspiration, only to find the cupboard was bare. Actually, not really. There were still two bottles of spreadable gold, but they were sealed and I wanted to bask in the warm glow of accomplishment for at least two more days.

The thing is, I’m not a morning person and my daughter is. So here I am, blearily under-caffeined and way too close to the early part of the day, and it’s taking me a minute to comprehend that the vision that I see before me is eating my precious lemon curd. Well, not MY lemon curd (we share in this house), but she is still eating it…by the spoonful…out of the jar…with all the louche insoucance of a habitual user, elbow propped on the counter, one leg swinging casually from the stool.

Slightly panicky and intent on staking my claim on the sole remaining jar I spin round quickly, and a trifle too ambitiously for this time of the morning. Cats yowl, coffee spills…cats? We only have one cat. Oh sorry darling, I must have stepped on you twice. As I drop to my knees to mop up the coffee spill I come eye to bright yellow jar with the last of my, I mean the curd, clutched in the chubby little paws of my five year old neighbour, a card-carrying gourmand. Of course, he dislikes heights, which is why I missed him first time round, perched as he is at knee level on the kitchen steps. Not a huge fan of cross-familial germ sharing, he has clearly demanded a jar of his own.

Now I love both of these children dearly and I am unwilling to engage in open warfare on the Lord’s day, so I need another plan. Not enough lemons for another batch. I should have doubled up yesterday before I used the spare lemons for vodka cocktails. No use crying over spilt Stoli though. Still, the ruby grapefruits hold promise. Not as obvious as the lemons, a little bit more subtle, a little more grown up. I might have a chance of keeping some to myself. Just to make sure I think I’ll make it tonight whilst my daughter is safely absent, (she is camping out in the front garden), and I might just hide the bottles on the top shelf of the fridge, behind the pickles..no not the pickles, she likes pickles, behind the herrings and the anchovies then…yes, that might work…

Devious? No…merely a little necessary forward planning. All is fair in love and food…

Recipe Journal

Plan B Ruby Grapefruit Curd

• 2 unwaxed, organic ruby grapefruits plus 2 unwaxed organic lemons (medium)
• zest of 1 small orange
• 2 cups caster sugar
• 1 cup (230g) organic, unsalted butter
• 4 large organic, free range eggs + 4 large yolks

Put the zest of the orange and grapefruit in a heatproof bowl

Add the juice of the grapefruit and the lemons to the bowl

Add the diced butter and sugar and stir over a bowl of simmering water until the sugar has dissolved and the butter has melted

Beat the eggs and yolks and sieve them directly into the bowl. Whisk well

Stir with a wooden spoon until the curd thickens enough to coat the spoon.

Pour directly into sterilized jars and seal.

Use within 3 months (do I even need to say this?) and refrigerate once opened

This curd is softer and shyer than the lemon. A toasted sourdough would be a perfectly behaved escort for it’s first outing, I think.

*To sterilize jars put them through your dishwasher and use immediately, or wash thouroughly before placing in a cool oven (on a baking tray lined with kitchen towel) and heating to 110*C. Once the temperature is reached leave the jars in for half an hour. Remove and let cool slightly before filling. You can also half fill small, squat jars with water and boil in the microwave for at least 2 minutes.

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